A satirical look at the difference between what a person said and what they "really" meant:
Colorado men's basketball coach Jeff Bzdelik offered some advice to collegiate superstars and Big 12 opposition Michael Beasley and D.J. Augustin on whether they should leave school early for the pros.
"You go to college to make a living for yourself," Bzdelik said. "Where the majority of the normal students need to get a degree, if you're talented enough to play basketball, why wait if you're going to get a healthy paycheck?
"So to have a player who is not going to stay for four years, you might as well leave and learn the NBA game and make another year's worth of money."
As you might imagine, the joke is on New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer (above). Here is a sampling, compiled by the Associated Press:
Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert: "I sat next to the guy three times, and I didn't pick up on any of this. And I usually have excellent whore-dar."
New York comic Lisa Landry: "It's just mind-blowing that he spent $4,300 on a hooker. It just shows how high the cost of living is in New York. That same hooker would cost $50 in Newark."
David Letterman: "They're talking about impeaching Eliot Spitzer if he doesn't step down. And I'm thinking, 'Whoa, a Democrat being impeached for extramarital sex. Well, happy days are here again!' "
Jay Leno: "The real ironic thing about this case? Today, the hooker said that Spitzer was done in a New York minute."
Actress Dawn Wells, better known as Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, is serving six months' probation after she was caught with marijuana in her vehicle, according to news reports. And the 69-year-old isn't the only cast member of the sitcom to have such a run-in with the law. Bob Denver, Gilligan himself, was busted for having pot delivered to his home back in 1998. His excuse at the time? It belonged to Wells.
Now we know how the castaways passed the time on the island.
1. Amanda Overmyer: Her growly rendition of "You Can't Do That" was tough to understand at times, but this part came through crystal-clear: Amanda had fun with it. As usual, she showed a lot of sass and soul and just has flair out the wazzoo. Love her weekly assortment of scarves, too.
2. Chikezie: That was hot, dawg! Where did all that come from! I loved the build from a laid-back, folksy opening to a rocking, rollicking climax that had him boppin' all over the stage. Nice energy, great rendition.
3. Jason Castro: I don't know why his performance of "If I Fell" touched me so much. After all, he hit quite a few sour notes there. But the song was so emotion-filled and tender, it won me over.
4. Syesha Mercado: Although her song started to sound like an ad jingle, she's still a vocal powerhouse and a force to be reckoned with.
5. David Hernandez: Still love his vocal prowess, even though his perf was only meh.
6. Carly Smithson: She's only ranked this high because the suckdom accelerates rapidly after this midway point ... her "Come Together" was as screamy as I feared it'd be.
7. Ramiele Malubay: Her "In My Life" was more like dead on arrival. I wish she'd do something to wow us with what seems to be an incredible voice waiting to show off!
8. Brooke White: Sweet, emotional rendition of "Let It Be," but the vocal shakiness devolved into utter pitchiness.
9. David Cook: This guy seems to be a fan and judge favorite, and I can't figure out why for the life of me. His "Eleanor Rigby" was indulgent and dull.
10. David Archuleta: He's got golden pipes, but they turned "We Can Work It Out" to rust, sadly. He seemed ill at ease performing it, so it was pretty awkward to watch ... but I hope this doesn't scare him off from up-tempo stuff in the future.
11. Michael Johns: His "Across The Universe" made me want to throw him there.
12. Kristy Lee Cook: After that wretched, countrified "Eight Days A Week," does America need any more of a sign that this chick needs to go? She needs to go.
Who's going home?: Based on quality of performance, it's gotta be Kristy, but since America likes these perky, talentless blondes, I'm afraid Ramiele Malubay might be thrown under the bus before we see what she can really do ... still, I'm going with Kristy Lee.
1. Michael Johns: The male judges are on crack. He let himself go, Simon. It wasn't boring, Randy. His "Across the Universe" did the Beatles proud.
2. Syesha Mercado: She sang "Got To Get You Into My Life" well, but the arrangement and the whole presentation was rather vanilla.
3. Jason Castro: Randy may have been bored by his "If I Fell," but I thought it was effective. And those piercing blue eyes - the ladies are gonna be speed-dialing.
4. Brooke White: She sang "Let It Be" and made herself cry. I liked it, but I didn't shed tears or anything.
5. Carly Smithson: Not a thing wrong with her singing, but again, she just doesn't connect with me. Can't help it.
6. David Archuleta: Not his best week, dawg.
7. Chikezie: Maybe I'm the only one, but I didn't really get it.
8. Ramiele Malubay: Her version of "In My Life" was beauty pageant city. She tried to jerk tears with her emotive singing, but I've always preferred straightforward renditions like the original.
9. Kristy Lee Cook: I give her points for being smart. She could be voted out this week (probably should, actually) and still end up making a hit country CD.
10. David Hernandez: The judges were right (for once), he overdid it big time.
11. David Cook: You don't smile douche-ily during "Eleanor Rigby." You just don't.
12. Amanda Overmyer: It sounded like a dying animal. Maybe it was the skunk on top of her head.
Who's going home? Gah, I have no idea. But just for giggles I'll say ... Ramiele Malubay.
Did I just see an Archuleta misstep? Not that his singing wasn't sensational, but this song ("We Can Work It Out") seemed completely wrong for him. He should've gone for one of the Beatles' poppier songs. "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" would have been age-appropriate. But no point in shoulda-coulda-wouldas. Little Davey's not in danger of getting voted out, so here's hoping he has a better song choice next week.
Why does it feel like I always get Kristy to critique?! That. Sucked. 'Nuff said. I feel so let down, 'cause I actually felt hopeful for her and like a country spin on "Eight Days a Week" might work out. Maybe, possibly. But all this performance did was throw Asia'h's early dismissal back in America's face ... Asia'h definitely would've done better than this ...
YAY, finally, a performance I can get behind!! Like Simon, I could barely understand most of what Amanda sang, but it was growly good times. Easily my favorite performance tonight ... and she seemed to have a great time up there, too.
Love the clothes, love the moves (where'd he learn those? Tee-hee), but didn't really love the souled-out version of "I Saw Her Standing There." It reeked of trying too hard. The judges agreed with me. That means they've come to their senses after mucking up their last few critiques.
OK, that's it, I need to get my ears checked. While she imbued "Let It Be" with a lot of heart and humanity, Brooke kind of drowned in the pool of pitchiness by the end ... technically, the performance wasn't on point. Emotionally, it was terrific. Will that be enough?
OK, "Eleanor Rigby" is a song about loneliness, and this guy kept smiling during the verses. And then he totally Nickelbacked the chorus. I understand why others don't like him now. I admit that I was temporarily distracted by his fab feathered 'do.
Before she even inhaled to start the song, I thought, "please don't scream this song." And then she promptly started to shout it. It improved toward the end, but it was way too Celine-Dion-at-karaoke for me ...
Paula wanted her to get into the Top 12 to start showing her personality?? Homegirl should've been doing that from the get-go. Judges, clean out your ears. Hunter, am I alone in this??
In non-performance news, Carly had a major record deal AND was a model, yet she needs to waitress seven days a week?! Good thing this ain't Financial Planning Idol.
I'm starting to warm up to this guy. His "If I Fell" was sweet and heartfelt, even if his high notes make me a little nervous. The only thing I don't like about the whole Castro experience are his intro interviews. Stoner McStonerface.
We might be saying Malub-bye-bye to this little sweet-face. Cuz, dawg, that version of "In My Life" was dreadfully boring. Oh, and audience? Quit with the hand-waving - it's the Beatles, not "Kumbaya."
Well, I didn't expect that. Mr. Eze twang-ed up the beginning of "She's a Woman" like it was country night, and then he inexplicably moved it into rock territory. The judges loved it, but I'm afraid Chikezie tried to do way too much with this one. Sometimes these contestants challenge themselves for no reason.
I wasn't feeling this performance. While her voice shined late after a shaky start, the performance felt like something out of a detergent commercial. Didn't warm my heart ... maybe it was her nerves.
Finally, we've reached this Idol skeptic's favorite part of the season -- the Top 12! Compared with seasons past, I wouldn't say this group of Idolistas is the cream of the crop -- hell, some of 'em are cream of the crap (I'm lookin' at you, David Cook) -- but at least the competition is entering its hottest point. Bring it on!
Love the snappy new beginning, although those weird electronic people are scurry, but I thought there was gonna be new music, too?! At least the new set is snazzzzy! Oooh, bright lights ....
Best part -- Idol's got the rights to plumb John Lennon and Paul McCartney's songbook. Hmmm, this should be interesting ...
In her new video for "Break the Ice," Britney Spears is animated. Check out some screen shots. I'll go ahead and state the obvious: She looks a lot better than she does in real-life with her dollar store extensions.
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