Jack Handey, whose "Deep Thoughts" were once a staple on Saturday Night Live and also were featured in a series of paperback collections, is releasing his first book of longer-form material.
"It does feel like an accomplishment, kind of going to the adults table with a hardback cover," the 59-year-old actual person said in a recent interview. "It does feel like, OK, this is playing with the big boys."
What I'd Say to the Martians and Other Veiled Threats, published by Hyperion, contains a few of his favorite "Deep Thoughts," but the meat of the book is shaped by short pieces such as the title story in which a caged narrator rants to his alien captors.
The top eight eaters will engage in a "picnic style" battle royal, eating plates of food such as burgers, hot dogs and french fries as is. No mashing or dunking food in water is allowed.
French fashion models may no longer be allowed to be stick-thin if France's Parliament passes a bill that punishes anyone who encourages "extreme thinness."
It's aimed at Web sites that promote anorexia, but it could also target the fashion industry by establishing guidelines for models' weight.
1. Syesha Mercado: I thought her vocals were strong and lovely, but her fan support may be "Vanishing."
2. David Archuleta: Wow, his leather pants really distracted me, in a bad way. I didn't think his singing was quite as great as the judges did. But I "Believe" he worked it out.
3. David Cook: He totally gets an A for originality, though his rendition didn't quite reach the level of "Billie Jean." Still, Cook will "Always Be My Baby."
4. Jason Castro: I liked the little Latin influence on his song -- it forced him to actually sing, too, which is great. "I Don't Wanna Cry," but I don't wanna sing with him, either.
5. Carly Smithson: Um, Paula, Carly did not show vocal restraint at all. She yelled to the point where her voice was strained. We could do "Without You."
6. Kristy Lee Cook: Oh, KLC, "Forever" will your singing suck the life out of a room. Actually, I didn't hate her version of it. But she still pales compared to everyone else.
7. Brooke White: She needs a "Hero." Singing that song on piano turned it into an Elton John-esque tune. Love Elton, but it's not what's needed here.
7:00 p.m.: Hunter: "Lord help us. Lord help us all."
7:03: What a diva -- did Mariah really need to bring her little doggie to auditions??
7:07: David Archuleta's wearing leather pants. Oy. Song's not nearly as exciting.
7:08: Hunter: "Go Archuleta with the Mimi-like range!"
7:15: Carly's doing "Without You." Shocker. Let's watch her rush to the part where she gets to yell at us.
7:17: And so then she yelled at us to the point where it taxed her voice. Doesn't she know what a strained voice sounds like?!
7:17: Hunter: "I don't know what Randy's talkin' about. This is my favorite Carly performance so far! Llllove the dress."
7:19: Whatever, Hunter!!
7:26: Hunter: "I'm surprised that I've liked every performance so far. Something's in the water, mmhmm. And the judges haven't paid enough attention to pop. Who doesn't know 'Vanishing'?"
7:29: Um, me.
7:30: Hunter: "[Burning a copy of Mimi's brilliant self-titled debut for Farah. Sharing is caring.]"
7:34: "Hero" on guitar, Brooke? Maintenance, bring the hot mess cleanup kit!
7:36: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
7:38: Hunter: "I really do understand Simon's meatless burger analogy. That scares me."
7:39: Oy, Brooke! Her version of "Hero" fell flat for me. Speaking of flat songs, here comes Kristy Lee Cooke ...
7:42: Kristy has so much glitter on her face (how apropos) that it looks like she's crying. Love that Mariah song -- I didn't actually hate her performance, I have to say.
7:42: Hunter: "I'm actually not cringing during a Kristy Lee Cook performance. Amazing."
7:49: Oh, Mariah, must you join in on David Cook's song? Let him do his thang!! [Praying he brings it]
7:52: Whoa, the judges like it! I dug it. Won't be downloading it, but I liked it.
7:53: Hunter: "Oh, he brought it."
7:58: Jason's doing "I Don't Wanna Cry" -- and I don't wanna when he starts singing ...
7:59: Hunter: "I realize that people love them some Castro. I give up. I just don't get it."
8:00: I actually liked the Latin-ish feel to his rendition of "I Don't Wanna Cry." It forced Jason to actually belt a little ...
Lord, help me. Tonight's theme on American Idol is Idols Give Back ... To Mariah. The idolistas have to try and tackle Mariah Carey crazy, multiple-octave songs ... I'm sorry, but isn't this evening kind of biased against the guys?! I saw the song list on TMZ, and I'm none too pleased. I mean, David Cook (reportedly) singing "Always Be My Baby"??! This might be a hot mess on a plate ... so let's tune in now!!
After 18 years in business, Stephanie Ward Gallery is closing its door with a farewell exhibit featuring photographer April Cotton and an exhibit of hand-painted neckties by local artists this Friday and Saturday at 920 18th St. in Plano.
The necktie exhibit "Tied To Greatness, " will feature 20 hand painted neckties and artwork by artist Frank Frazier, Patrick Lewis, Roy Vance, Pretty Rikki, Jeffrey Faynan, Sherry Hall and others. The opening reception will is Friday from 7 to 9:30 p.m. Artists will attend the event to answer questions about their artwork and neckties. The event is open and free to the public.
Cotton will also display her collection of 30 uniquely framed photographic images of African's landscape and people. Ms. Cotton's work will be on exhibit both Friday and Saturday. Saturday's exhibit will run from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m.
I love films that delight visually, and this one doesn't disappoint. With rich landscapes dripping in vivid colors, The Fall looks like a winner in terms of cinematography. In the trailer, a stranger who's bedridden in a hospital tells a young fellow patient a dramatic tale. More like a sweeping epic starring himself and four other valiant fellows. Our storyteller is played by Lee Pace, from ABC's Pushing Daisies, and his buff, extremely gorgeous appearance in this film will sweep away any lingering memories of the meek, troubled piemaker he portrays on the TV series. But what's the movie about?! Couldn't really tell, besides the fine fivesome fighting some odious foe named Governor Odious in a reality-bending tale. It looks like The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, only more colorful.
Release date: May 9.
Chance of box office success: Not the best, especially since it seems to be an indie. But it's got producers David Fincher and Spike Jonze on its side, and that alone could build some buzz.
Should you see it?: Yes -- it looks like a delightful world I'd love to sink into.
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